Anticipate Change
Remember what "change" means for believers. It's both positional and experiential. Positionally, we are new creations (2 Cor. 5:17) whose place with God is secure (Eph. 2:6). Experientially, we struggle with some degree of temptation as long as we are in these earthly bodies (Gal. 5:17) while the Holy Spirit transforms us from glory to glory (2 Cor. 3:18). Therefore, you have already changed positionally, and you will continue to change experientially.
Accept Responsibility
Understand where your responsibility lies. Every Christian is able to resist temptation (1 Cor. 10:13), so you should turn from any homosexual behavior or expression of same-sex lust (Matt. 3:8) and from anything enhancing same-sex desire (Matt. 5:30), while letting God change you inwardly (Ps. 19:12-13). You're entrusted by God to do what you can; you trust God to do what you can't.
Acknowledge Need
Consider meeting with a counselor to examine any emotional-relational wounds that may contribute to same-sex attraction, such as dysfunctional family patterns, codependency, and/or abuse. If you don't already have a trusted Christian counselor locally, the Restored Hope Network can offer suggestions of people with expertise in counseling those with same-sex attraction.
Ask What
Remember what Saul of Tarsus asked when he began his new life: "What shall I do, Lord?" (Acts 22:10). Change begins with surrender, regardless of outcome. We don't seek change in our sexual desires so that we can marry, fit in, or have a more comfortable life. Rather, we seek to become all He means us to be, inwardly and outwardly. First surrender, then obedience, then change.
Align with Others
We're in this together, so rest assured that all believers experience struggle (Jas. 3:2), yet we should also experience change (Ezek. 36:26; Rom. 12:2). Sin is present in our old nature (1 John 1:8), so we resist it (Jas. 1:12) and are not ruled by it (Rom. 6:14). Yet we also experience ongoing transformation in our thoughts, affections, and actions (Col. 3:10) and should expect that transformation to continue (Phil. 1:6). You'll find encouragement in your own journey by listening to testimonies of others who have walked the path of transformation. We recommend the documentary Such Were Some of You and Changed Movement testimonies.
Allow the Process
Not everyone's process of change will be exactly the same, but there are some elements we all should expect:
- All of us experience a change in our heart and mind toward God.
- All of us experience a change in behavior upon repentance.
- All of us experience the power to obey.
- All of us experience a change in our identity.
That's what all of us should expect, yet our experiences are still unique:
- Some will experience a decrease in same-sex attractions.
- Some will experience a complete cessation of same-sex attractions.
- Some will experience awakening of opposite-sex attractions.
Regardless, all will experience the power to live victoriously and consistently. You should therefore put neither limitations nor requirements on the way God will work in all areas of your life, sexuality included.
Recommended resources
- Transforming the Inner Man, John Loren & Paula Sandford
- Emotional Dependency and How to Keep Your Friendships Healthy, Lori Thorkelson Rentzel
- Healing the Wounded Heart, Dan B. Allender
- TRANSformation: A Former Transgender Responds to LGBTQ, Linda A. Seiler, PhD
© ReStory Ministries. This page reproduces the guide's content; the full formatted version is available as a PDF above.