"I Experience Same-Sex Attractions. What Should I Do?"

Remember the Fall

When Adam sinned, the human journey turned into something it wasn't meant to be (Gen. 3:1-19). That's why we all have unwanted feelings, courtesy of our fallen nature (Rom. 7:22-23). Some temptations are common; some are experienced by a few, but all of them are fruit from the same tree. So remember, you worship alongside believers who have their own struggles, just as you have yours.

Remember the Promise

Biblically speaking, same-sex attractions doesn't mean you have an inborn, immutable orientation; it means you are experiencing deceitful desires in the old self that result from living in a fallen world (Eph. 4:22). However, the good news of the gospel is that you are on a journey of sanctification, dying to the old self with its deceitful desires, being made new in the attitude of your mind, and putting on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness (Eph. 4:22-24). Transformation is a lifelong journey of being conformed to the image of Christ (Rom. 8:29; 12:2).

Remember the Past

Our culture says you can't find freedom from same-sex attractions, but the Apostle Paul wrote about believers who repented of homosexual sin, saying, "That is what some of you were" (1 Cor. 6:9-11, NIV). You are a new creation in Christ (2 Cor. 5:17), and your temptations no longer define you because you are no longer a slave to sin (Rom. 6:14) but a slave to righteousness (Rom. 6:18).

Remember the Basics

Those of us who have walked this walk can testify to the importance of the basics all believers need to observe. Be in the Word daily. Develop your prayer life. Pursue the baptism in the Holy Spirit and pray in tongues on a regular basis to strengthen your connection with the Lord and release your burdens to Him (1 Cor. 14:4; Jude 20). Find at least one mature believer you can confide in for accountability and support. Seek out godly counsel from someone who's qualified and knowledgeable about this issue. If you don't know where to begin, we recommend ministries associated with the Restored Hope Network, some of which offer online support. Most of all, get involved with the body of Christ, find a place to serve, have fun with like-minded believers, and don't make your sexual struggles an idol that distracts you from serving Jesus with all your heart.

Remember It's a Process

This isn't about homosexuality as much as it's about sanctification, so remember what the process of sanctification looks like. Confess the sins you're aware of and trust in God's forgiveness (1 John 1:9-10). Cut off anything leading you back toward the sin you've turned from (Matt. 5:29). Seek healing, through counsel and prayerful support, of whatever wounds or distortions of the soul you may have experienced, like being teased for not fitting gender stereotypes or past trauma, such as childhood sexual abuse or adverse family dynamics (Luke 4:18). Don't assume homosexual desires are the only conflicts in your life God will address (Ps. 19:12). Trust in and expect the ongoing transformative power of the Holy Spirit to work in you, bringing you from glory to glory into ever increasing freedom (2 Cor. 3:18).

Recommended resources

Such Were Some of You (documentary)
TRANSformation: A Former Transgender Responds to LGBTQ, Linda A. Seiler, PhD
Desires in Conflict: Hope for Men Who Struggle with Sexual Identity, Joe Dallas
Restoring Sexual Identity: Hope for Women Who Struggle with Same-Sex Attraction, Anne Paulk