From the outside, Emily Oakley looked like a "good church girl." Inside, she carried same-sex attraction, deep codependency, and lies that held her captive for more than a decade. Her story is a picture of the freedom that comes when God reaches the roots of the heart.
The struggle behind the smile
Raised in Wichita, Kansas, Emily grew up in church while privately wrestling with things she felt she could never say out loud. She experienced same-sex attraction and a pattern of codependency, attaching herself to other women to fill an emotional void that only God was meant to fill. Along the way she also struggled with controlling her eating and with self-harm, carrying the weight of a hidden life for years.
Roots, not just fruit
Emily's turning point came as she stopped trying to simply manage her behavior and let God address what was underneath it. Real transformation, she says, is not behavior modification, cutting off the "fruit" of sin, but the slow healing of the roots of the heart. As she placed God first, surrendered daily, and let herself be known in community, the lies that had held her began to lose their grip.
From freedom to calling
Today Emily is an ordained Assemblies of God minister and the founder of Rebirth Ministries, which provides counseling and equips churches to address these topics with biblical compassion and conviction. She is the author of What Good Little Church Girls Don't Always Look Like: Understanding Struggle in Light of the Gospel. She shares her story so that others know they are not alone, and that change is possible, even when it does not come on our timeline.
This is a summary of Emily's publicly shared testimony, drawn from her ministry and published interviews. Hear her full story in her own words at rebirthmin.com.