Reassure
Thank them for their honesty and let them know that their struggles do not change how you see them. Reassure them that experiencing gender dysphoria is not a sin, though acting on such desires or rejecting our God-given biological sex is (Deut. 22:5; Isa. 45:9).
Remind
Remind them that all believers experience temptation that must be resisted (1 Cor. 10:13) and that rather than focusing on our fallen desires, our goal in life is to know Jesus and live a life yielded to Him (Gal. 5:17; John 17:3). Teach them how to connect with the Lord in the secret place through daily Bible reading and prayer. Encourage them to pursue the baptism in the Holy Spirit and pray in tongues on a regular basis to strengthen their connection with the Lord and release their burdens to Him (1 Cor. 14:4; Jude 20).
Reframe
Reframe their perspective by helping them understand that God created us male and female for a purpose (Gen. 1:26-27). Our biological sex is not a mistake; God knit us together in our mother's womb, and we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Ps. 139:13-16). When someone experiences gender dysphoria from a young age, it's often due to emotional factors that affect their gender identity development. The answer is not to change the body to match the fallen mind but rather to renew the mind to match the body God gave them (Eph. 4:22-24). Know that, as a leader, your job is not to resolve their gender dysphoria but to connect them with Jesus, His Body, and resources that put them on a lifelong trajectory toward transformation.
Relationships
Help them form relationships with believers of the same sex who can affirm them as a man among men or a woman among women. At its root, gender dysphoria is not a sexual issue but a matter of healing wounds in the soul that affect our gender identity. In short, we get hurt in relationships, and we can receive healing through healthy relationships. Toward that end, it also helps to cultivate healthy relationships with the opposite sex, especially for those who have been wounded earlier in life by the opposite sex.
Resource
Connect them with resources sharing testimonies of other believers who once struggled with their gender identity and have made peace with their God-given gender so that they know they are not alone on their journey. The TranZformed documentary is a great resource. We also recommend the resources below from Linda Seiler and Walt Heyer.
Refer
Refer them to professionals who can help. Many overcomers benefit from meeting with a Christian counselor or therapist (especially one skilled in inner healing and deliverance) to help them process issues that may contribute to the development of gender dysphoria such as being teased for their personality temperament, dysfunctional family patterns, and/or abuse. If you don't already have a trusted Christian counselor locally, the Restored Hope Network can offer suggestions of people with expertise in counseling those with gender identity issues.
Reaffirm
Reaffirm that you love the fact that they're saying "no" to what so much of the world is saying "yes" to, that you're honored to walk alongside them, and that your only expectation of them is that they'll continue growing in faith and becoming the person God intends them to be (Phil. 1:6).
Recommended resources
- TranZformed documentary, Pure Passion Media
- Why Gender Matters, ReStory Ministries YouTube Playlists
- Sex Change Regret website, Walt Heyer (sexchangeregret.com)
- Help 4 Families (help4families.org)
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